perspective

"it's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."

do you see the glass half empty or half full.

perspective. 

sometimes you have to consider yours.

perspective makes all the difference.

how you choose to handle life's curve balls all depends on your ability to consider the whole. 

i have done my fair share of bitching about the economy and the job market. it's not awesome. i'm fully aware. and i've definitely had my moments of self pity. every time i was rejected or ignored by a company i applied with (which is/was a lot) i doubted myself. i thought "why me?" or i guess, "why NOT me?" and the weight of rejection got heavier.

after several melt downs, and a lot of frustration i started considering the whole. i changed my perspective.

i realized i am where i am because i choose to be here. my decisions, ALL of them, led me to the place i am physically, mentally and emotionally at this very second. and i will say i am content, not satisfied, but content with where i am. i accept that i am competing for jobs against people who are:

smarter

more qualified

less suborn

older

younger

more desperate

and easier to please, than i am or choose to be.

i know that all wonderful things take time. so i have more patience. and with that the weight of rejection is not so heavy. 

i know there is a plan for me and that eventually i will "have it all."

spring

it is the official first day of spring, and i have to say that it actually feels like it. usually theres a lot of snow still piled up, but it's mostly melted and the sun is shining and i'm digging it. i was motivated, by this first day of spring, to give my garage some TLC and do some cleaning,  toss out stuff that has collected over time. get rid of all of those, "well i might use that when…" and ya i'll never use it, ever! well it is time for it to go.

but i am not here to talk about my tidy garage and overflowing trash can. since this is my medium to express my words, i figured i would write about other things that sometimes need some spring cleaning.  things that we don't think much about at times.


we all fall into routine. it's not always a bad thing. routine is good, but it's mundane.


you gotta dust yourself off, tis the season for growing now. mix things up a bit.


you have to get rid of some clutter. clutter that might build up in your heart and in your mind.


do a little spring cleaning for your soul. take one step in a better direction.


start fresh today. breath. and grow.

my past

you are the reason my mind wonders and my pride does not settle.

why my words flow, my mouth smiles and why my heart grows.

if it wasn't for you i would walk oblivious through a forrest of open arms not knowing how to embrace them...

so thank you...to my past. 

nothing breaks a heart better than the walls built between family.

option 'a'

i'd have to say that for 2011 most of the time i went with option A. if you don't know what i'm talking about you'll have to read below. this is a continuation of 'options'


struggle, distance, control. 


for me it's the best way to move on. to let go of the weakness that threatens my security. accepting there are things in life i can not always make easy allows my body to struggle yet provides me with peace of mind. it's a pretty solid balance and it usually gets me by. but please beleive i can lose it in a hot minute. sometimes the frustrations are too much. i swear to God, i am about 2 rejections away from applying at McDonald's but at the risk of receiving that rejection letter i will keep struggling where i am.


distance. it is the best way to find solid ground. the further i remove myself from the things that are ailing me the better i can see the solution. solitary confinement is often appealing. but i usually just end up on a treadmill. distancing myself from those things provides me with the ability to control how i react internally. 


control on every level you are able to you. it's where i smash the feeling of helplessness. where i remind myself i do not owe one minute of my life. i am as free as i am willing and i refuse to lose control.


so struggle, distance and control. and when that doesn't work it's usually onto option C.  

Once you have become grateful for a problem, it loses its power to drag you down. On the contrary, your thankful attitude will lift you up into heavenly places with God. From this perspective, your difficulty can be seen as a slight, temporary distress that is producing in you a transcendant glory to never cease (2 Corinthians 4:17).

this day...

was the best day.