I went to the dentist today. He happens to be my Uncle and he happens to have syringes full of Novocain. On the outside I look normal, as normal as I usually do but inside I feel like I'm missing half my teeth, have a gaping hole in my throat and no bottom lip. I feel like a creature from a Pirates of the Caribbean movie missing part of my face and drooling some weird substance. Effects usually last a couple hours…it has been 3 and I still feel numb. And I feel sorry. Not for myself though but for the unaware Coloradans at Panera Bread who might have happened to get a glimpse of me eating…it's weird. It feels weird and it has to look weird. Ugh, the dentist and his novocain. I bought a cookie, well actually it was free because I'm in the rewards program. I figured if I was going to look like an asshole eating my food it might as well be chocolate. I have to go to work now.
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