anxiety

I don't even know how to start this blog. So many thoughts are racing through my head and what I think I want to say comes out in desperate, teret-like nothings. I am a fish out of water. Well let me put it frankly I'm a fucking mess. The wall I've spent years building for protection has been stripped. My "comfort zone" feels more like a street curb. I sit on this street curb with my head down, hands clenching the back of my neck, elbows pins between my knees my toes gripping the inside of my shoes, this is my attempt at holding inside, what is left of me. The only thing I feel is the panic in my heart, my only thought, "is this seriously me right now?" Is this really it, I came all the way to 26 to be unimpressed by the" lack there of" what I thought would be my life?