Real life and Novocain

Is this real life?

I went to the dentist today. He happens to be my Uncle and he happens to have syringes full of Novocain. On the outside I look normal, as normal as I usually do but inside I feel like I'm missing half my teeth, have a gaping hole in my throat and no bottom lip. I feel like a creature from a Pirates of the Caribbean movie missing part of my face and drooling some weird substance. Effects usually last a couple hours…it has been 3 and I still feel numb. And I feel sorry. Not for myself though but for the unaware Coloradans at Panera Bread who might have happened to get a glimpse of me eating…it's weird. It feels weird and it has to look weird. Ugh, the dentist and his novocain. I bought a cookie, well actually it was free because I'm in the rewards program. I figured if I was going to look like an asshole eating my food it might as well be chocolate. I have to go to work now.

patience

Waiting on the weather. Just do something already. Either shit or get off the pot. Snow or rain. Impatient with weather? Am I OCD, ya just a little. If it's not the weather it's something else. My patience wears thin with just about everything and everyone in my life. I wasn't always that way though, there was an exception. Her name was Mary. She was old.

I never knew her young and I never cared to. She was perfect the way she was and I would wait all day for her. Walking from the car to the grocery store took a day and half but it didn't matter because she was Mary and she was old. Eating a meal lasted a lifetime. I would have scarfed my food down in 8 minutes while she talked about how she hadn't had a McDonalds cheese burger since she took my brother and I there when I was 5. 20 years went by and the cheese burger was the same. I was different. Grown up-kind of, taller than her now and patient. Patient with her life because now at 25 I knew it wouldn't last forever. Mary managed to stay about the same. Same wrinkles. Same grey hairs. It's funny how she never seemed to age. She looked like a Grandma, the same Grandma I always had. I would sit and listen to her talk about being old and how it was the "pits." I agreed with her.

Just thinking about getting old terrifies me a little. It's snowing now- I can stop waiting on the weather to make a decision. It decided to snow. See that's the thing, the stagnate state of life makes me impatient. I need to just wait. What is the rush? Absorb the moments, the seconds and let the weather be what it wants. Stop hurrying life and the people around you. Patience for loved ones, friends and family. Patience for strangers driving you nuts in traffic and even the post office, if you can believe it. Patient for the moments you know you might never have again. I think that's why I would wait for Mary all day. I knew those moments were special, that they were limited and I wanted to remember them forever. My moments with Mary are over now. I hope to find the patience I had for her and use it on the rest of my life… cause really, 20 years from now the cheeseburger will still be there. Be patient.

Very marymary Birthday's

Today is my BFF's birthday. I woke up early to write a special blog for her. So here I sit, coffee already spilled on my favorite sleeping shirt and I'm wondering how to make her day special. It's always a bummer when you get older. Less presents. Less cards. Less phone calls. It's still your birthday, and you're getting OLDER! So we have to have something to look forward to!

So today is about Kaylin. If I had a year to write this blog I would tell you all our story. We have one, and it's one for the books. It started at "Cindy Fisher Basketball Camp" in Laramie, Wyoming somewhere between puberty and braces and it ends, well who knows, If I had my way it'd be sitting on Fremont Lake with a bottle of wine watching Hanna raise her children while we talk about how we "raised" her. We would laugh about the times she made us cry and cry about the times she made us laugh. It'd be a good day, a good way to end our story. But before we get there we will keep fighting the good fight.

Learning.

Laughing.

Growing.

Together.

Analyzing what doesn't need explanation and ignoring the things that do. Just getting by but enjoying the ride.

You deserve all the happiness in the world and an extra bottle of wine on top of that.

So here's to you Kay! Thank you for "our story" I'll never get too old to be your best friend… I hope you won't either.

Some Inspiration

So this blog has been sitting empty for over 6 months. I started one to post pictures, but my camera has been dead for months. I wanted to share some of my adventures. I wanted to speak my mind but it's been empty, just like this blog, just like my soul….okay that is being dramatic my soul is not empty but somewhere along this road I have lost some inspiration. My creative side is wimpy and I'm getting caught up in adult things, forgetting that I will always be a little too cool to grow up for real. Recently a good friend of time started a blog, she is probably one of the last people I'd expect to start writing for the world but she did, and it's great. She's fun, fun loving, hilarious, has a beautiful family and an attitude that rubs off- in a good way. Never too seriously, never too outrageous just a simple, honest girl. And she inspired me. So thank you Linda. I hope you are reading. You better be because I sent you a text to tell you I want you to read my blog.