the gym

i do a lot of thinking when i am at the gym, zoned out, people watching kind of thinking. my friend suggested i turn some of my thoughts into a blog post. so here you go. below you will find random thoughts that go through my head while at the gym. i hope you enjoy.

gym thoughts:

sir, you are on the treadmill backwards you know that right?

did you really need a lifting belt for that?

sunglasses? really?

why don't you use some MORE chalk

i am not strong.

that is in no way considered exercise.

dude, no guy is suppose to use the abduction machine.

that looks impossible

we get it you can do 80 katrillion pull ups, do you even need to be here?

are you drinking coffee?

when i catch people doing a gym selfie i think: actually i don't really think much of anything i sort of just puke in my mouth a little 

it smells like coconut lime verbena and ball sweat in here.

have i seriously only been running for 3 minutes?

wow that is a lot of eyeliner for the elliptical

i don't think under armour is suppose to be THAT tight

why aren't you wearing shoes?

how come i can see your nipples?

my mom goes to zumba

i can smell your abercrombie and fitch man perfume from 10 ft away

the old man is running faster than you, step it up.

there is a lot of hugging going on here

this stretch looks weird i can feel it

is that a panty line? for real?

how come the foreigners don't change their clothes?

are you doing ballet?

...and more proof you can't tan away your cellulite.

seriously i have only been running for 5 minutes?

holy mid-life crisis with your sports bra and C-section scar

anything over 5 lbs feels heavy

should i get some ankle weights?

what. the. fuck?

shit, i have underwear bigger than your work out shorts, dammit.

no really YOU'RE doing it wrong.

"sir this machine is jammed, oh you don't work here…?"

so would you say those are gardening gloves?

did i just whistle that whole song out loud?

i wonder if i'm doing this right…it sure feels wrong

no really, why are your shoes off!?

it looks like you put glue on your thighs and rolled around in someones shaved pubic hair

how come the only thing sweating is my hands?

i hope no one saw me roll my ankle.

it's a scale, not a fairy God Mother.

please don't trip, please don't trip.

nice camel toe. uhhhh

oh my god is this exercise ball deflating? shit.

hey there, um you forgot to take off your fedora…

bumblebee tuna

is that a Seinfeld tattoo?

….shit you caught me staring.

ok those are some awkward leggings dude

when someone interrupts me to ask "how many sets do you have left?" my thoughts: 100, i have 100 sets left seriously shut up, it's either 1 or 2 right? how often do you run across someone doing 35 sets? get away from me and wait your turn like a normal human

stop. grunting.

i wonder if anyone will notice if i just sit here

you're in my way. you're in my way. you're in my way. i hate this place.

it's that feeling

i'm up later than usual. i'm trying to get my words written. i know if i don't i will lay awake while they run through my head. i've got that feeling in my stomach. i'm so happy to look back having made some incredible memories but at the same time my throat has that kind of "might cry" lump because i wonder if some of those moments and memories are the last of their kind.

i rolled my window down to wave goodbye because for some unusual reason she wanted to watch me pull away- she never did that. as i looked out my passenger side i saw her peek through her screen door and wave. it's that feeling in my stomach. the lump in my throat shifted instantly to a deep breath, while my eyes welled up with tears and i held it in afraid to exhale, a part of me knew that was going to be the last time i waved goodbye to mary.

yesterday afternoon i sat alone on the deck of one of my favorite places in the world. i listened to the leaves as the wind tried to rip them free from their branches and i wondered if one of my angels was telling me to pay attention. it's that feeling in my stomach. the lump in my throat rose, my eyes felt warm with tears and my mind flooded with memories. just like the branches desperately held onto their leaves i pulled in every memory from that lake as if they might rip from my mind. i could have sat there for hours and watched the lake turn from glass to white caps and everything in between until the sun finally surrendered to the moon.

it's funny how your heart will attach itself, how you'll fall in love with something over and over and never even realize it.

that was the last time i waved goodbye to mary.

it's that feeling

…in your stomach…

you better pay attention.