…when it isn't.

it is 8:55 am. coffee is on and i am eating a drumstick ice cream cone for breakfast. i've been wanting to write this blog for a while but it never comes out the way i want. so here is another attempt.

this whole big thing we call "real life" seems to be a challenge for not only myself but for just about everyone i know. i hear, "i just need a change" more times than i ever thought i would. i have opened up to many of my friends about where i am in life and all the 'whats next for me?'thoughts. more often than not, they are nodding and saying "me too". is anyone ever content? are we suppose to settle? because if so…how do you know when you've capped? i guess i don't know when it is, but i sure as shit know when it ISN'T.

Isn't the right…

job.

guy.

time.

decision.

hair cut.

idea.

direction.

shoe size.

thing to say.

place to be.

i spent 6 months waking up telling myself,

"this is not my life."

and it wasn't. looking back it was all the things that it wasn't. it wasn't the right job or right guy or decision. do i regret it? no. and i know why.

i had a friend post a blog and she said, I am not a product of myself. I am a product of people, places, and events that have shaped me into the girl I am today."(E.Smith-Brucia)

i don't regret moving to ft. collins and i don't regret being back in laramie. it's all just a mountain and you've got to keep climbing. i knew i had to make that change and i had a lot of words of encouragement along the way. don't get me wrong…i'm far from having it figured out. i don't know where i am going but when i get there at least i'll know if it is, or if it isn't the right place to be.

 Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. -mark twain

i'm glad i didn't waste another minute of my life knowing inside that it wasn't the place to be.

if there are more "it's not's" in your life than there are "it is's" then you have to keep moving. find that happy place. find all the things that life is suppose to be, the wonderful and right things that it is.

because in your heart you know...when it isn't.

sight

Sometimes you lose sight of who you are.

There isn't a single thing better in life than letting a story flow from your heart into the ears of someone who knows exactly what you are saying. They know where your story originated and they need not ask a question about it.

I forget what it's like to not have to explain who is who and what is what. To truly let the words evaporate into the minds of people who have always known you is priceless.

I spent last night sitting around a fire, celebrating a birthday, but more importantly celebrating a friendship. A friendship I've known my whole life.

You never fail to catch sight of who I am when I need it most.

Happy Birthday Bitsy, you mean the world to me.