i couldn't wait to pick you up. to parade you around. to ask you about your day and to hear your goofy little voice.
you asked so many questions. you wanted to know everything. how was this made. what does this do. where does this come from. i hardly ever knew the answer. it didn't seem to matter. we just talked.
you wiped every single kiss off.
every.
single.
one.
but always with an ear to ear smile.
sometimes you were there.
asleep.
heavy and in a dream and tiny in my arms.
i would carry you to your dad. my heart completely melted by your slow little breaths on my neck. and without your permission i soaked every second of it up.
i loved the times you LET me hold you. it wasn't often. but i can still feel you there. on my lap. with your overly gelled hair prickling my chest.
theses moments are so dear to me.
i still hear that goofy little voice. it echoes so meaningfully in my heart.
i can't help but to always remember you this way.
in my dreams and in my heart you are forever small.
a little boy who i helplessly and completely adored.
though there are many more memories of you growing up i hold onto these precious moments so much more tightly than the others.
you will never be forgotten. you made too great an impact.
tomorrow you will be 18. a full-fledged adult. you'll be celebrating in another place. a place i will see you in someday.
but until that day.
you are there. tiny and ornery in my rearview mirror.
and i love you.
happy birthday, brycee boy.
